Wednesday, March 20, 2013

a girl's guide to bracket busting

Oh hey there, March Madness!

It's so good to see my favorite time of year has come around once again. The NCAA Tournament starts tomorrow and I thought I would stop by and give some of my tips on how to maybe, possibly win your office pool... or flame out in a giant blaze of glory. Hey, you felt super confident in that 16-seed upset you picked! No need to be ashamed. What are we if not risk takers?

no texas in the tourney? apparently you CAN mess with texas.
ALYSSA'S GUIDE TO BRACKETOLOGY
1. Never pick Duke to win. Trust me on this one- they're evil, and you don't want that evil thrust upon you if you have to root for Duke. Make them go decently far (Sweet 16-ish) and then have them crash and burn.
**Exception to the rule: reverse jinx. If you have insanely bad luck all the time, cheer your little heart our for Duke. That way they'll for sure be upset.

2. Pick Kansas. The only reason I say this is because I did not pick Kansas this year. I picked them to win it all 2 years in a row and they got upset in early rounds. The next year I didn't pick them to win it, and they won it all. Then last year I didn't pick them again and they made it to the championship game. Moral of the story, I obviously have awful Kansas karma so do the opposite of me.

3. A 12-seed will beat a 5-seed almost every year, so pick at least one of those. My 12-seed upset pick this year is Oregon over Oklahoma State.

4. Never sleep on those mid-major teams. Remember George Mason a few years ago? No one picked them, and they made the Final Four. Same with VCU. Be brave with a mid-major pick.

5. ALWAYS GO FOR UNLV even if you are a little worried about them. REMAIN POSITIVE.
**This rule might only apply to me.

6. Don't pick a Final Four with all 1-seeds. That hardly ever happens. Plus, what's the fun in zero upsets?

7. Don't let your personal vendettas effect your gut. If your gut is telling you that your most hated team is going to win, go with your gut. Example: I would love nothing more than for the upstanding gentlemen at Harvard to assassinate New Mexico. But is that realistic? No. Therefore, I picked New Mexico.
**Exception to the rule: See number 1.

8. Fake it till you make it, homie! If someone asks you why you picked Iona over Ohio State, just say something along the lines of "Haven't you seen the way Iona totally dominates the offensive boards? Ohio State has got NO inside presence!" and you'll sound totally legitimate.
**I just made that up about Iona, so don't trust me on that pick.

9. Do You. Meaning, you can watch ESPN for 85 straight hours and hear how everyone is picking St. Louis as their sleeper pick for the Final Four. Guess what? It's not a sleeper pick if everyone picks it! Think for yourself, girl! (or boy. non-discriminatory.)

10. Have fun with it! Even if your bracket gets completely blown to pieces halfway through the first round, it's still a blast. And chances are, you'll have some sort of upset to brag about. The best part about filling out a bracket is that it gives you someone to root for every game. Settle in for the ride!

May the March Madness odds be ever in your favor!

1 comment:

Jillian Denning said...

I feel like this post should be your dating résumé. Like, "Look boys. I'm this cool."